Sarcasm?
How to Become a CAble News Journalist in 8 Easy Steps
Today, a news anchor, particularly a cable news anchor, could be made out of anyone, assuming they come pre-packaged with the personality of an android set to “telemarketer” mode and the inability to decipher fact from fiction. I’m so confident that any human alive could easily turn themselves in to a modern cable news anchor that I’ve broken down the process in to 8 easy to follow steps that anyone can use to get their faces on TV and their mouths talking about crap their minds can’t even comprehend.
Don’t believe me? Here are some testimonials from satisfied followers of my plan…
“Before I followed Luis’ plan I was a chimp. A real, honest-to-God chimp. As in chimpanzee. I ate bananas and everything.” –Definitely not Steve Doocy
“Whenever I decide to become a real journalist, I’ll follow the patented Prada Plan!” –Probably Chris Matthews
August 7, 2012 at 6:24 am
still helps to be a pretty girl, … or boy.
August 7, 2012 at 7:40 am
I’m pretty sure that assessment applies to the various combatants, especially on Fox.
August 7, 2012 at 8:24 am
Eh, too many words on that site, but the pics are AWESOME.
August 7, 2012 at 8:30 am
You must read “Look like a toy”. Truly, you must.
August 7, 2012 at 8:40 am
What’s really great about that story is when it refreshes the page for no apparent reason.
August 7, 2012 at 8:56 am
I’m not one for text-isms, but OMG “Look like a toy” was excellent!
August 7, 2012 at 8:58 am
That picture of O’Reilly never gets old. I miss that jerk.
August 7, 2012 at 9:05 am
CNN is learning. They had some hot doc from some daytime TV-show to talk about…something. All I could tell was “Wow, she’s hot”. Not like Elizabeth Cohen, who is attractive but you can actually hear what she’s saying.
August 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Rumor is that SLIM FAST has signed Candy Crowely.
August 7, 2012 at 3:29 pm
‘Cause ya know..fat jokes.
August 7, 2012 at 3:59 pm
I have a source tell me CNN gave her one other choice which was to fill her with helium and fly her over Atlanta.